Good News then Not so Good News
by the DEVIL may care but I don't
Summary: This is just an idea that popped into my head based on my recent playthrough of the series. Femshep/Kaidan. Starts out involving the reporter and her view of noticing their relationship at first then shifts to what's happening with them when they get this news. Eventual canon character death. As usual i own nothing.
1. Chapter 1

Shade Shepard had reluctantly agreed to housing the reporter, Diana Allers, on her ship a few weeks prior. Thankfully, Allers knew how to stay out of the way for the most part, but it was slightly annoying whenever she interviewed the commander in her cabin since she'd come on to her afterwards.

The Commander had been highly uncomfortable with the advances of the reporter since she had no idea where she stood with one Major Kaidan Alenko. They'd flirted and tentatively skirted the topic of their prior relationship, but they hadn't actually confirmed or denied the existence of a relationship _now_. And _if_ they were to get back together, she didn't want to tell the reporter that since it was highly likely that it would be announced to the entire galaxy.

She knew she was in for trouble the moment she agreed to Kaidan coming back on the ship, even more so after their "sanity check" date on the Citadel. After that'd been over, they'd retreated back to the privacy of the Captain's Cabin and fallen asleep there. It wasn't too surprising when it became a regular thing for them to sleep there together. Kaidan started making nightly visits, leading to them deciding that the cabin would be theirs instead of just hers. He kept his bunk down in the crew's quarters, but it went unused most of the time.

None of the rest of the crew was shocked at the development since many of them had known either both or one of the two before the Reaper attack. They'd both been hung up on the other during their time apart. Joker and Chakwas especially, had seen the amount of grief Kaidan had been through when Shepard died in the Collector attack that blew up the original Normandy.

Since it was so expected, no one mentioned it much. When it was mentioned, Allers was usually down in her room in the cargo bay doing reports, so she didn't hear the latest gossip.

Naturally, she was confused at the Commander's reaction when she returned from a mission at a Cerberus base with the Major ragged and bleeding as she carried him to the Med-bay. She was recording the entire event from the second they made it back to the ship. Shepard was yelling orders to "get them the hell away from that base" as she hauled him into the elevator.

Allers managed to make it in the elevator with the two as the elevator doors slid closed. As far as she could tell, the Major had taken a bullet between the plates of his armor near his collarbone; something also seemed to be wrong with his head given the way he was pressing his palm to his forehead.

The Commander seemed completely oblivious to the reporter's presence as she tended to Kaidan. As best as she could, she removed his armor piece by piece. By the time they made it to the med-bay, the biotic Major was completely topless, allowing Shade to put direct pressure on the bleeding wound.

"Hold on, Kaidan. We're almost there," Shade muttered.

Allers followed silently until Chakwas forced them both out of the med-bay so she could work. The reporter was quite surprised when Shade simply leaned against the wall outside the door and collapsed into a sitting position.


	2. Chapter 2

As soon as that was caught on camera, Allers shut it off, knowing she had what she needed for her next story already before she asked, "Commander, are you okay? The Major didn't seem to be too injured."

"I'm fine. He wasn't. He strained his biotics down at that base to protect me from a sniper. Aggravated his implant in the process."

The reporter didn't get a chance to respond since Chakwas came out of the med-bay, causing Shade to instantly rise to her feet. She didn't even have to ask before the doctor was informing her on Alenko's condition.

"He's fine, Commander. That shot didn't do much damage and his implant was only slightly rattled. I've told him to keep the biotics offline for a few hours. You can take him back up to your cabin if you wish; I've given him the usual painkillers for his migraine but you know how well they work."

"Thanks," Shade sighed before moving back into the med-bay.

Allers followed behind again, watching the pair interact silently from a few feet away. The camera was back on as she quietly observed.

"Hey," Shade greeted quietly, cautious of his migraine.

The tanned Major's eyes were closed, but he held out a hand towards the Commander who laced their fingers together automatically. "Hey. I'm okay, Shade. I swear. It's mainly my head that hurts."

"You shouldn't have strained yourself like that," she chided. "I would've been fine without that extra barrier."

Kaidan sighed. "I know, but we've been over this. I don't know if I could handle losing you again. Especially not now that . . ." He cut himself off when he opened his eyes and saw the reporter standing behind the Commander.


	3. Chapter 3

Shade followed his line of sight and nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw Allers there. She'd completely forgotten about her presence in the hallway when she'd been allowed back in the medbay. Her hand jumped away from the Major's and back to her side in an instant of the realization.

"Allers," she greeted awkwardly, pretending not to notice the camera hovering next to the reporter.

"Commander."

"I trust you've gotten what you need for your report?" Shade inquired tersely.

"Yes, Commander. I trust you'll arrange for the formal interview later," was Diana's response before leaving the medbay.

The camera hovered long enough after the reporter left to catch Shade gently running her fingers along the base of Kaidan's skull where his biotic amp rested beneath the skin and the man's face relaxing slightly as she did so.

Anything he was planning on saying got put on hold when he felt those cool fingers soothing the origins of the pain in his head. He couldn't tolerate anyone else touching that particular part of him seeing as how it automatically seemed to spark a migraine, but for some reason with her the pain only subsided. Her touch quelled the pain long enough for him to stand with his eyes squinted as he followed Shade to the elevator.

"That was uncomfortably close . . ." Kaidan muttered after a moment.

"Yeah . . ." Shade replied distractedly. Her hand idly found its way so that it was resting against her belly that was still covered by her armor.

"Hey," he whispered, pulling her attention to him as he covered her hand with one of his own. "I love you. I have and will always love you. And I love this little miracle, too. Nothing is going to change that."

She nodded, resting her forehead against his. "I know. I love you too. I just wonder . . . Would it be better to tell everyone about it? I don't want them to treat me differently, but the Alliance wouldn't be able to do anything since we're both Spectres. It might do some good for morale to have some good news on the ship for a change. Life instead of death for once."

"It's your choice and I'm behind you whatever you decide," Kaidan assured her. "I can't guarantee they won't treat you differently; I know they would all be more protective at the very least. But it definitely couldn't hurt morale, you're right."

"I'll think on it some more, but I might tell Allers to explain what was going on down in the medbay. I'll ask her not to announce it publically in the morning since it wouldn't be anything but gossip, and it would probably get some of the older Alliance officials on my case saying that I'm unfit for duty or something. But . . . I think I should tell the crew . . . the close members at the very least."

"Garrus is going to love this," Kaidan chuckled as they entered their cabin. He sighed after a moment. "I don't think you should put off Allers until morning, though. Who knows what she's going to say in tonight's report? Why don't you get changed and call her up here?"

"What about you? I know you're good at hiding your migraines, but not ones that are this bad."

"I'll be fine, Shade. This needs to be taken care of tonight."

She nodded. "You're right. Let me change and call her up here. You can get a shower while I talk to her."

"Trying to tell me something?" he smirked.

"Yeah. You stink," Shade laughed, earning a half-hearted smack to her shoulder.

"Love you too." Kaidan's smirk evolved into a full-blown grin as she started removing her armor. He didn't even try to stop the urge to lean forward once her stomach was bared and place a kiss there.

"Go get in the shower, you sap." Shade ordered with a fond smile. Despite this order, she pulled him forward via a hand behind his head to kiss him sweetly on the lips.


	4. Chapter 4

Not ten minutes later, Shade was now dressed in a black tank top, fatigue pants, and her N7 jacket and opening the cabin door for the reporter.

"I'm surprised you wanted to do this so soon after your mission," Allers said by way of greeting. "You seemed rather . . . distracted when we parted."

Shade awkwardly cleared her throat. That moment of tense silence was enough for Diana to hear the shower running in her private bathroom, causing her to raise a brow.

"Someone borrowing your shower?"

"Uh . . . yes. That's actually part of what I wanted to talk to you about. Sit, please." Shade waved a hand in the direction of the small couch across from the bed. Once they were sitting—Allers on the couch, Shade perched at the foot of the bed—, she started. "I feel like I need to explain to you what was going on down in the medbay when Kaidan was injured."

"That would probably be helpful," Allers agreed. She was without her camera, as per Shepard's request, so she was there strictly off the record.

"Kaidan and I have a . . . complicated history. Before Ilos and the whole Sovereign thing, we'd been talking and . . . getting close. It was completely against regs, I know, but we did it anyway. The night before Ilos, we hooked up officially and were together as a couple until I . . . died with the SR1. With the whole Collectors situation and Cerberus . . . we didn't exactly see eye-to-eye on Horizon and he said some things, hurtful things. He apologized later, of course. Still does, actually." She shook her head in an attempt to free herself of the fond thoughts. "Anyway, when we worked together on Mars that spark was back. When I visited him when he was in the hospital, we decided to take a shot at _us_ again, to hell with the consequences.

"As soon as he was able, he rejoined the _Normandy_. Shortly thereafter, we decided it was pointless for him to room in the crew quarters on the third deck with how often he was up here and with his migraines. He's been sharing my cabin ever since, hence the reason he's in the shower. Anyway, this isn't just a fling while we take down the Reapers; it's serious, going back a few years now. _That _is why I'm going to ask you to put it lightly when you report your observations from earlier. It's not something that's just gossip worthy."

Allers nodded slowly as she contemplated the new information. "Thank you for being honest with me. I was thinking about running it as a light-hearted story for the general public to get their minds off of the Reaper threat for a moment. Would you mind if I interviewed you and Major Alenko for such a story if I were to show you the finished product before I ran it?"

Shade smiled, pleased that the reporter was being so mature about the subject. "I can't speak for him, but I find that more than agreeable."

"Thank you, Commander. I realize that you were probably worried that I would try to destroy your reputation with this, which I could easily do to be honest, but I won't. In times like these . . . you're the only person holding this galactic alliance together. I wouldn't throw away the fate of the galaxy for the sake of a good story."

"Glad to hear it."

"Besides, the two of you are Spectres. There's not a damned thing the Alliance could do about the two of you breaking regs like this even if they wanted to, which I doubt they would ever do given who your parents are anyway."

"Thank you, Miss Allers," Shade said genuinely. "I'm glad I brought you onboard."

"As am I," she said as she stood to leave.

The Commander caught her wrist to stop her. "There _is _one more thing I should tell you in the interest of full disclosure."

"Oh?"

Shade sighed, running her hand through her hair. "This is something I'm going to ask you not to run in your story or tell anyone else for that matter. I'm planning on telling the crew in the morning as it is, but you'll understand in a moment why I don't want the rest of the galaxy knowing until after all this is over. Can you promise to keep quiet, Diana?"

Allers was surprised by this show of trust, knowing it was rare coming from this particular woman. She nodded seriously. "My lips are sealed, Commander. Are you alright?"

That earned a chuckle from the black-haired woman. "Yeah, I'm more than alright given the state of everything. Kaidan and I slept together after he returned from the hospital; we'd had a date and one thing led to another . . . That was over a month ago, right around the time you joined up if I'm not mistaken."

Diana's eyes widened when she realized where this was probably headed. "Are you . . ?"

"Yeah. I'm pregnant. About six weeks. Apparently Cerberus didn't see a reason to replace my old birth control implants when they rebuilt me and we didn't realize that at the time. I hadn't been with anyone since I came back, so I didn't know. We found out a week ago. That's why he was protective of me and put that barrier around me on that mission. That's why I reacted so badly."

"Congratulations, Commander. That is wonderful news. I understand fully why you wouldn't want the brass or those bureaucrats finding out, so I won't tell anyone. I take it the two of you decided to keep it?"

A nod. "A new life in these dark days? Of course we decided to keep it."

"Good. I can't think of a better pair of parents for another spacer baby," Diana teased, referencing Shade's own parentage.

"Thank you, Allers. I thought you should know given your position."

"Thank you for trusting me with this information, Shade. If you need anything, you're always welcome to ask," was her parting word as she turned to leave. She bumped into Kaidan as he left the bathroom in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, hair still dripping as he ran a towel over it. "Congratulations, Major," she stated before leaving.

"Uh . . . Thanks," he replied after her before turning to Shade. "How'd it go?"

"Really well, I think. She asked if she could interview us about our relationship for a piece to get civilians' minds off of the war for a bit and said she would let us watch it and approve it before she ran it. I agreed on my part."

"That sounds like a great plan," Kaidan grinned, kissing her temple. "How'd she take the other news?"

Shade smiled. "She thought it was good news, but understands why I don't want to tell anyone outside the crew."

"Good."

"Yep. I'll gather the crew in the morning and tell them. For now, however, I'm going to get a shower before I crawl in bed and sleep for as long as I can with my kid's father."

He laughed, kissing her stomach once again as she stood in front of him, earning a softer version of her smile. "Good plan. I'll see you in a few."

"I love you, Kaidan," she told him seriously.

"And I love you, Shade."


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning, Shade woke slowly, the warmth of Kaidan's arm around her waist tempting her to fall asleep once more, but she shook off the feeling as she pulled herself into a sitting position, feet hanging off the bed. Kaidan, still asleep, removed his arm from around her as he flipped onto his back when she sat up. It was only a moment later that he actually woke up, running a hand down his face as he registered her movement.

"Hey, what's up?" he asked quietly. It was almost automatic for him to scoot closer to hold her again. Kaidan was still lying down, now on his side, but he was slightly curled around her.

"Nothing. Just needed to sit up before I fell asleep again," Shade assured him. "It's time for us to get up. The night crew's shift is almost over."

"You want me to call everyone into the meeting room?" he inquired.

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Okay, who do you want there?"

That required a moment of thought. "I'd like Joker and EDI to be there, Garrus, Liara, Chakwas knows already obviously, Tali, Daniels and Donnelly, Traynor, Wrex should be patched in along with my father, Vega, Cortez, Samara, and Miranda."

"Not Jack?"

"Decidedly not. Can you imagine what her reaction would be if she knew that I was fighting this war and going into gunfights while pregnant? You saw how protective she was with her kids; she'd be the same way with me after everything we went through together."

His face morphed into a grimace. "You're probably right about that. Let's avoid that for now."

"Exactly." Naturally, that was when a bout of nausea took hold and had Shade running for the bathroom. She'd been lucky that the morning sickness hadn't hit during a mission, but it was, surprisingly, a fairly regular affair in the mornings.

Kaidan took the time to announce the meeting from her private console before moving into the bathroom to hold her hair out of her face until the sickness subsided. "You know . . . You'd think they would've figured out something to prevent this in the last hundred years or so," he commented when she was finally able to relax back against his legs; he'd been standing behind her.

"Yeah, you'd think," she chuckled weakly. "You're lucky I love you or this _so_ wouldn't be worth it. You know how much I hate nausea."

"I'm the luckiest man alive," was his reply as he helped her back to her feet and over to the sink where she could rinse out her mouth and brush her teeth. He kissed the back of her neck before going off to dress in his fatigues like he usually did.

"Damn right," she called after him. "Doubly so since my father absolutely adores you. He'd make your life hell for even touching me if he didn't."

He couldn't help but grin at their usual morning banter while pulling on his boots.


	6. Chapter 6

A few minutes later, they entered the meeting room where everyone was already waiting. Shade's father who was the well-known Admiral Hackett, and Wrex were there only as holos but they were there nonetheless.

"Well, Shepard, I didn't think you were serious when you said you'd be getting the gang all together again." Garrus teased, mandibles fluttering in his version of a smirk.

"Oh shut it, Scars," Vega laughed. "You know you love all of us."

Liara simply rolled her eyes.

Shade couldn't help but grin as the closest members of her crew, her _friends_, bickered in the same way they always did. She could almost forget that the Reaper threat hung over their heads every moment. It was almost as if they were simply together as friends instead of the truth that they were banded together for the biggest fight for organic life in millennia.

She caught her father watching her with a smile. He nodded towards her in greeting.

"Seriously though, Shepard, why'd you need to see all of us?" Joker asked, still smirking from the light-hearted argument that'd been taking place only moments before.

"I've got some news," she stated only slightly nervously. "I'm sure all of you are aware that Kaidan and I have basically been together since we were first assigned together under Anderson."

That received nods from all around, except EDI who watched impassively as always though a hint of a smile could be seen at the corner of her mouth. One of Hackett's eyebrows quirked up as he seemed to catch on to what she was going to say.

"Well . . . we found out about a week ago that I'm pregnant."

The room was silent for a few seconds before Garrus came up and hugged her. Shade had to fight tears since it meant so much to her that her best friend—that wasn't the father of her child—was there for her.

"Congratulations, Shade. I know the two of you will be great parents," the Turian muttered before releasing her.

"Ha!" Wrex barked. "Congratulations, Alenko. You've got to be part Krogan, too, if you managed to make this reckless pyjack settle down. It looks like my kid'll have someone to play with after all."

Kaidan's face flushed in embarrassment. "Uh . . . Thanks, Wrex."

Various other forms of congratulations were stated, including some teasing comments from Joker. Liara was among the last to offer her opinion.

"I knew you were amazing from the moment I met you, Shepard. This is a miracle given all of the bad that's been happening lately. This is a sign of hope, and I'm so happy for both of you," she said sincerely.

"Thank you so much for everything, Liara," Shade said, pulling her friend into a brief hug.

After that, everyone cleared out to go about their normal duties, including Wrex who simply signed off of the call. Admiral Hackett was the only one to linger. Shade and Kaidan turned to meet his gaze nervously. This worry was banished by his words.

"I'm so proud of you, Shade," he stated, eyes shining with pride.

"Thanks, Dad," she whispered. This time, she couldn't fight off the happy tears that welled up in her eyes. Shade reached out for Kaidan's torso to hug him close.

"I only wish I was there so I could hug you. This could have happened at a better time when you aren't getting shot at regularly, but I'm glad the two of you are together and happy given everything. You're right not to tell the other Admirals; they would try to pull the _Normandy_ away from you with some bogus claim that you're unfit for duty. You're still our best hope for surviving this thing, and now you've got even more reason to pull all of us through this."

"I do," she agreed whole-heartedly.

"Kaidan, your job is to take care of her. Watch her back in combat—but don't strain yourself like I know you want to, she's a big girl who can take care of herself in the field—and make sure she doesn't push herself too far in her downtime."

"Yes, sir," the Major nodded sharply.

"I know you'll take care of her, son. I couldn't pick anyone better for my little hellion. I love you, Shade. Both of you take care. Hackett out."

As soon as the communication was terminated, Kaidan pulled Shade in for a fiery kiss. "I love you, and you heard the man. It's my job to have your back, as stated by our superior," he stated cockily when they parted for air.

"Like you weren't going to do that anyway," she rolled her eyes fondly. "Come on. We've got work to do."

"Yes, ma'am."


	7. Chapter 7

Kaidan was copiloting for Joker while EDI repaired damage elsewhere on the ship when he saw the Citadel explode with green light. He couldn't help but let out a cry of agony, knowing that Shade had been on that vessel. This exact cry could be heard throughout the ship, and seemingly everyone knew who it originated from and what it meant.

The battle-ready attitude of the ship shifted into one of melancholy acceptance as the crew continued working to get them through the last of the battle. Everyone registered the strange, green glow that'd taken over everyone's eyes and woven into parts of their skin, but none had the time to mention it seeing as how Joker had to kick it into overdrive to try to escape the blast that was threatening to completely consume the ship.

The second and only, now anyway, human Spectre had to force down everything that was threatening to come apart inside him in order to assist the pilot. Knowing that he'd just lost the woman he loved as well as his unborn child was more crippling than the injuries he'd sustained when that Mako had blown up and almost crushed him down on Earth. Grief in the form of darkness around the edges of his vision threatened to blind him, forcing him to grasp at the frayed strands of his Major Alenko persona.

There was a moment when he was regaining control of himself that he completely blacked out.

The next thing he knew, the _Normandy_ was crashing.

For one ridiculous second, Kaidan thought that it was his fault. That is, until he realized that Joker could fly the ship through a hurricane with one hand; it was obvious that he didn't actually _need_ a copilot. The ship had been going to crash no matter what.

There was little comfort in that realization.

As soon as they'd stopped moving and he could hear Garrus' voice barking orders in his stead, Kaidan allowed the grief to consume him. Tears trekked their way down his dirt-stained cheeks as he mourned the loss of his Commander. He'd said he couldn't lose her again and he hadn't been exaggerating. He didn't know how he'd be able to cope with this loss.

Kaidan didn't know how long he simply sat in the copilot's seat crying silently, but eventually he was shaken out of his grief by gentle hands on his shoulders. He turned to see Liara through tear-blurred eyes.

"Everyone survived the crash," she informed him gently, knowing that he would want to know the state of the crew even in his anguish. "It appears that we have all gained a degree of synthetics in us. EDI had gained some organic traits as well. It is my assumption that Shepard somehow managed to merge synthetic and organic into something new that caused the reapers to retreat. We are on Earth somewhere in the rainforest."

"Thank you, Liara," he replied quietly.

"Come here, Kaidan," she said as she carefully pulled him up into a hug. "She did what she had to in order to ensure our survival."

That sentence caused another sob to escape him as he buried his face in the Asari's neck. "I promised I would protect her. I should have been there."

"She wouldn't have wanted that and you know it. You always came first to her. Getting you away from there while she could was her way of protecting _you_."

"Liara, I've lost everything. What am I supposed to do without her? You know what happened last time she died. How it destroyed me. I can't go through that again."

He wasn't lying. After her first death at the hands of the Collectors, it'd taken months for him to get over it. Garrus and Liara both had had to come bang on the door to his apartment in Vancouver and drag him out and away from the alcohol there. It wasn't something he was proud of. He'd never told Shade about that, now that he'd thought of it.

"You haven't lost everything," Liara assured him. "You still have me, and Garrus, and Tali, and everyone else on this ship. She would want you to live your life. We're here for you; we'll help you through this. Besides, you know she'd kick your ass six ways from Sunday if you met her up there so soon." She added the human saying in an attempt to cheer him up the tiniest bit.

It worked. Kaidan let out a quiet chuckle as he pulled away from her embrace. "Thank you, Liara. I still don't know how I'm going to get through this, but it means a lot to know you've got my back."

"Of course, Major," she smiled weakly.

"Come on, we need to figure out what we do from here," he sighed.

He knew he was far from being okay, but he knew Shade wouldn't want him to wallow in despair over his lost family. Kaidan also knew that she would, indeed, kick his ass if he were to leave their crew alone by joining her wherever she was.

One last thought whispered in his head as he prepared to figure out what their next move was.

_I will always love you, Shade. Until the end of time._


	8. Epilogue

Epilogue . . .

As soon as the choices were offered to her, Shade knew she truly had no option in how this was going to end. She couldn't sacrifice the Geth or EDI simply for her hatred of the Reapers; destroying them would make her as bad as them since she would be destroying an entire race. Controlling them would be just as bad.

Synthesis was the only option.

She allowed herself to walk slowly past the other pathways as she said her mental farewells to her friends. Kaidan was among the last to cross her mind since she was trying not to think about how this choice might very well destroy him. Shade knew full well that she was taking away a good portion of his family by making this choice, but it was the only way.

_I love you, Kaidan,_ she thought. _I know Liara and the others will be there for you. I'll see you again someday._

Finally, her hand drifted to her belly where their child lay, oblivious to the turmoil outside of her body. _I'm so sorry, little one. I'm sorry you'll never see how beautiful the galaxy can be whenever we're not threatened with extinction. I'm sorry you'll never meet your father; he's a good man. Amazingly tolerant; has to be in order to handle me._

With a melancholy laugh at that last thought, Shade threw her gun away and broke into a run despite the injuries she'd sustained and the pain she was in.

As she hurled herself into the green beam the thought _I love you_, was the last to cross her mind before her entire being was swallowed in light.

* * *

><p>She didn't know how long had passed when she pulled herself back to consciousness again. A hiss of pain escaped her when she cracked an eye open and a world of white assaulted her. After giving her eyes some time to adjust, she opened them again.<p>

Shade was lying in a world entirely made of white. The only other thing there was a woman who looked remarkably like her except for the differently colored hair and eyes. Red in place of black and vibrant, glowing gold instead of pure blue.

Her arm wrapped around her middle protectively as she stood. "I'm Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy. Who are you?"

The woman looked confused. "I'm . . . Commander Shepard. What's going on here?"

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Okay, so this is going to have a sequel eventually in the form of a dimension mash-up between my Shepard's universe and my friend's. That will be posted at some point on one of our account. She's supposed to be writing a set-up from her Shepard's POV on her account sometime soon, she's DecedentofGallifrey. Hope you enjoy! Leave a review and tell me whatcha think.


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